Empty

But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering...

Philippians 2:17

This verse perfectly captures how I feel as a mom. Like all day long I am being poured out.

"I feel so drained."

"I feel like everyone is sucking the life out of me."

"I have nothing left to give."

Tim at least gets a grade, a pay check, other adult conversations that affirm his value. I get talked back to, spit up on, poopy diapers, failed potty trained attempts, ugly looks in public, flabby arms, food in my hair...

I desperately want to have value. I want a job that will get me, mary mac an identity beyond being just an unshowered tired ditzy mom. I want to be good at something so that when I walk in a room and don't have anything together, the others will say, "she doesn't look like she has it all together but is a really good... (fill in the blank)."

This is ALL WRONG! A terrible perspective that has invaded me too long. For one thing, I am valued by God- (so much in fact that he sent his only son to die for my sins...). Paul found joy in the out pouring of his life. By golly, I definitely can find joy in pouring out to my family. I will not allow an unbiblical view point to steal my joy anymore.